# 50 Reflections Friendships

Friendships

By Mary K. Mennenga

Without a word

A friendship may end

No need to wonder

It just isn’t what it was

There may not be a reason

For we all grow at

Different speeds and directions

Some friends come then go

With years in between seeing each other

The friendship isn’t strained or damaged

We have parted

At Christmas each year each will

Send a card in greeting

Letting each other know how life is going

We will change over the years

May find we have less in common

As time passes

We don’t forget the good times

We had together

Those memories stay with us 

M.S. has taken much

          That's true enough and we may lose it faster than most, or it tries to kill our spirit one ability at a time. For many folks time and living life bring changes of ability and capability, slowly at first barely noticeable really but picking up speed as the years go by. For some it's an accident that changes everything in one small moment in time. Does it mean any of the folks above should stop living each day as we did before? Doing all we can by making do with what we've got to work with? Getting caught up in regret is easy with all of our, could should and would haves from the past remind us of what we didn't do, instead of what we did do and why! Thinking of all the mistakes we had made. Now if you have read any of my posts before this one you may already know what coming next. Those mistakes were made the person you were back then, not by the person are today. You’re not that person anymore it's the reason why you're now able see it as a mistake! Okay maybe I'm wrong, I am wrong a lot and have been told that more times then I care to count. Getting caught up in the past, takes us away from living in the here and now, but we can regret that later! What the future holds is still unknown. If you want to look back go back 20 or 40 years, if you’re like me you were alive back then, the tools that we have today weren't even science-fiction back then. If history as taught us anything, it's any one thing can change the world we will be living in. 

M.S. has taken away many of the things, I loved doing like fishing, long slow walks in the woods, sleeping more than 4 hours at a time and going shopping all day, to name a few. So now I've found new and different things I love doing as much if not more like looking out my window to the world, still being able to hear the birds and squirrels, over the entire city noisy. Without having m.s. I never would have learning that woodpeckers that eat at the bird feeder will take seeds and put them in the bark of a tree and come back later to eat them. The walks in the woods are shorter so I listen closer it's all still there, now I may not see them all I do remember what the bird and animals looks like, so I can match the sound with the picture in my mind. Realizing when putting all the sounds the birds and animals are making. It's a wonderful song written by nature. The best part is it's never the same making each time it's heard the first, so for me it never gets old.

           Watching as my mother and her sisters were growing older, seeing time taking their ability and capability away with the years. What I remember the most is the grace, in which they took each lost they faced, there was a bit of moaning and groaning more or less the same as we do now. None seemed to regret or lament about the past. Even as the end was so near, each one talked of what fun they had over the years the things they had done but not what they hadn't done.

# 43 Reflections Friends.

       Caring and loving the people in my life does not change, because I see them less or more or even not at all. It’s the relationship that mattered most, not the things we did or didn’t do. What’s important to me may not have meant the same to you. Thank goodness we are not the same, wouldn’t have been so much fun, had I not looked at things from your point of view. As each person passes through our life some only once other coming and going throughout the span of time. Life is fluid like a river going on its way changes and choices made will put a bend here and there, in places it will be wide in others narrow too, flowing fast and slow also. As it takes a lifetime to finally reach the loving depth of the sea.

By Mary K. Mennenga

This Thanksgiving is different.

For the first time in my life I don't feel it's necessary, to go anywhere for Thanksgiving. Jane and I decided we are going to stay home, it's the first time that it will be just the two us. Got all the fixings before the snow started falling. A good thing because it's really coming down, no it's not a repeat of last fall yet. It will warm up and be gone before Turkey day. The first snow fall of winter was a mix of wet heavy snow, sleet and the white fluffy stuff. It has all become ice and I'm really glad I don't drive any more!


With my physically abilities slowly slipping away, things are a bit more challenging that's all! Still not giving in or giving up that continues as always, and picking my battles very carefully. Being more cautious about where and what I'm putting my energy into. With limited resources I don't waste it, by knowing the choices I make have ramifications, that can and have stopped me dead in my tracks, taking day's or even weeks to recover from. Finding a balance isn't easy when I don't know what I'll have to work with each day.


My new normal is a loss that I'm not adjusting to very well, it started a while ago, with a high pitched ringing in my ears. Have I mention how much I loathe and despise high pitched noise, it's very distracting to the point that it's almost impossible to get and stay focused. When it drops down a few octaves its much easier to deal with, no need to worry I'll find ways of work around it. In the last few weeks I've noticed I fatigue faster and it's taking longer to recover, with these two things it's affecting my ability to communicate verbally and to write. Change isn't one of my strong suits, honestly I've never handled change well. It's the reason I call change adjustments makes me feel more in control, I prefer to face life head on with open eye's.  


The adjustments I've made to lower my stress level. First I'm not going use chat on face book,  the type is too small for me to see. The second is talking on the  telephone, some folks will find this hard to believe because, I could and did spend hours talking on the phone mostly with Mom. When talking with other people much longer then they wanted too. I've been told this many times, "You can turn a ten minute phone call into an hour or more!" a bit like my mother. Now I don't even answer the phone because, it's so frustrating trying to listen and talk, after I hang up, trying to remember why they had called what it was all about I even started taking notes Grrrr. It's just gotten to be too much of a hassle, face to face is easier to handle but, the best way I think is to just use e-mail, this way they can respond, when they have time. So far it's working out great for me, no longer do I need to give it a second thought, if I'm bugging them or not.       

#29 The steps you've taken together today

For Katie & Nick

On their wedding day

By Katie's Auntie Mary K. Mennenga

The steps you've taken together today

Isn't as big as the step you took

A few years ago

When you opened your hearts

To each other

So today we join with you

In celebrating the love

You share with and for each other

Knowing the love you two share

Has already stood up to

A test of time

And is even stronger now because

As two strong independent, unique, individuals

By your choosing to become partners

In whatever life has in store

for each of you

Realizing you're stronger together

There isn't an obstacle

That by working together you can't handle

I know this because you are both

Too tenacious to allow that to happen 

This my rant: May and might

Before you start reading this, I'm not a doctor and I have no answers this is about my own observation of what I'm learning after doing a few day's of research. This is a rant born out of frustration after doing that research

Trying to understand why after years of research. That many of the research study findings said it proved, this may or might be a factor in why people get M.S. Maybe I'm just not smart enough or am I so dumb, that it's all going over my head God I hope not!  Okay isn't the reason for doing a research study to prove that a statement is fact! This where I get lost, when I read may or might be a factor wouldn't that make the findings inconclusive! So the findings have proved what we already know the environment is a factor in M.S.

Now about M.S. drug's that starts out with.We are not sure how or why this works. However it did seem to help 70% of the people in our research control study group, what is not said is the part how many dropped out of study or the + or - % margin of error, In very small print about the long term results the projected figures are +/-10 to 15%  52% many of the studies are  run by the drug company that will produce it  and profit from the sale of it. No it's not a cure, lets not forget there's very little money to be made in finding a cure, when much more can be made by looking for one. Two days of wasting my time was a bit upsetting, learning that making money is more important then... Sorry I just can't finish that statement.

Yes some research that's done is honest and truthful I know. It just seems to be more about the money than the well being of the patient.