# 53 of reflections Why is it when...?

Why is it when…?

...I find an answer to a question

Then realizing the answer created another question

Each answer brings forth another question and so on.

Could it be I'm learning?!

  By Mary K. Mennenga

Because this is something I've heard not willing claim it as mine

Having tried and failed to teach someone it's true.

...I've heard it said

There is no such thing as bad student’s only poor teachers

I must very strongly disagree

For you see one can teach and teach

However one can't learn it for them.

# 52 of reflections Meaning The Most

Meaning the most

By Mary K. Mennenga

    

The age of things isn't what makes them old

Because new things can get old real fast
Sure we can all relate to that

 It's the history of things that makes them a comfort

My memories take me back to what I feel today
Was a much simpler and an easier time

Then I wonder if next I remember
Will this have been an simpler time in my life?

The past has a way of giving life perspective 
Life is a lesson in the little things

Realizing it's the little things people did

That ended up meaning the most.

# 51 Questions of faith tested

Questions of faith tested 

By Mary K Mennenga

When faith is tested it’s hard to see

That God is truly all around us

What is seen isn’t kindness, understanding or love

It seems hate has taken over

Leaving the weak, sick and old to die

They’re of no monetary value any how

 A drain on the system no room for compassion

It’s them or us

Instead of we the people, its fall in line or else

No longer are we the stewards of earth

Or our brother’s keeper

Using the word God more as a slogan diminishing and burring

What the name God means

The gift of grace God has given us

Religious membership isn’t a requirement

It’s your heart God sees

Forgive others as well as yourself

Thinking you aren’t faithful enough

For God to care or hear your prayers

God’s love is a gift

All that’s needed is faith to receive it

Only by God’s grace and love for us

We are free to choose

Faith is trusting you’re heart

Without judgment 

More pictures of Ben

Ben is getting over his fear and is becoming more at home here.

Got him a new bed was told "it's too small for him"

Try telling him that spends most of his time in it.

I think he feels safe in it!

Ben is gaining weight slowly which is good, getting stronger each day. Not ready for a long walk yet, many short ones is working well for now. If taken to far he just stops and lays down, only happen once, not willing to push him too far.  Ben has barked once, a friend came over for a visit, Ben was in his new bed  he bark as she  came in. Maybe he is beginning to feel this is his house and wanted her to know it, I sure hope so.

Word verification!!!!!!

Okay why did they add more words and made it harder to see? They didn't think it was hard enough the way it was!? Before this change most of the time I'd need to spent 10 minutes trying to post a comment I could and was able to post. Sorry to those who have it, I just spent another 25 minutes trying to post a comment on a blog with verification! Normally I don't give up, but it's just too much, I totally understand why people use it. Getting spam is a pain, for me thankfully most of it goes into the spam folder, not always. This won't stop me from reading the blog's that have it. If after 10 minutes I can't get it right, I'll stop trying! Not within my control, So it is what it is... Thanks    

Spring, birds putting it altogether.

Hi from Minneapolis, Minnesota. After a long mostly brown and warm winter. Getting some much needed moisture in the form of rain, everything is greening up nicely. The birds are building their nests the frozen ground is long gone and it's only mid-March. This is happening way too early, 95% of the time here we still have snow on the ground until mid-April; it's happened before if my memories servers but not happened in my life time. Of course I could be wrong that's a given! Planting season here normally starts after Mother’s day in May as well as 60+ degree high temperatures and low temperatures in the 40's. Record highs and lows are breaking or shattered, it happening all over the mid-central U.S. The southern states saw more snow and cold then we did, it seems to me that we had more rain than snow this winter, didn’t use the snow blower once. After last winter didn’t mind that one bit, this time last year I still had snow piles 8 feet tall. What does this all mean heck if I know! Maybe Mother Nature felt sorry for us after last year, however I doubt it! Just hopping we don’t have another summer of being stuck in the HOUSE like last summer! So where am I going with this nowhere, knowing I can’t plant my garden just yet because, we could have another hard freeze, been there done that more than once even if the trees are all leafing out, not willing to risk all that hard work!

Many of the summer birds are already back at my feeders, even had a pair of European Starling shooed them off! A very aggressive and not a native bird still in its winter colors with white speckles, known for displacing, woodpeckers and other cavity-nesting birds by destroying eggs or young. Not a nice neighbor at all to have around and very loud! Okay I admit it; I’m not going to let them take over my birdfeeder so no other kinds of birds would come if I did.

So yes I lied before because I didn't think two kinds of birds’ lived in the city. Now that both have come to my feeders, I must draw a line for who is welcome at my birdfeeders it’s the European Starling and the Brown-headed Cowbird is the only parasitic bird in Minnesota. They can and have decimated song bird populations in some areas, of Minnesota and Wisconsin because of laying eggs in host birds’ nests, leaving others to raise its young. Many song birds’ don’t reject the eggs they incubate and raise them to the exclusion of their own. Cow-bird young are twice the size of the song birds and warblers when attempting to raise more than 2, the host birds will die trying to feed them. Wiping out a generation or two of host birds’, needless to say I am not a fan. Having squirrels does help to keep Cow-birds away. If not the only way I know of to keep them away is to stop using birdfeeders altogether. When I lived in Wisconsin I had to do that, not just because of Cow-birds, a bear had come twice bending the shepherd hook, to the ground to eat the birdseed. The front door was about 15 feet away, sorry but that was way too close for me. The Brown headed Cow-bird is a member of the blackbird family. Of approximately 750 species of parasitic birds worldwide. It’s the only one found in Minnesota and Wisconsin. At one time cowbirds followed bison to feed on insects attracted to the animals.      

M.S. one of the most missed diagnosed

I would love to say it’s all the doctor’s fault, but that would be a lie. In  my case anyway, I’m the one who didn’t tell the doctor everything, didn’t want to moan and groan about at the time what I felt weren’t really problems at all just little things that got in my way from time to time, like dropping a glass or tripping just thought I needed to pay better attention to what I was doing that’s all. As the years passed I just thought I’m writing checks my body just can’t cash, trying to do the things I did ten and twenty years ago and party like I did in 1982 when I took drugs and drank a half pint of Jack Daniels every night on the weekends. Thank goodness I stopped doing that I had reached my lowest point. Had nowhere to go but up, was a lot of hard work dealing with and letting go of my reasons for hiding from myself, it was time to start living my life head on, instead of living in a fog!

In 1999 I ended my term of service in the U.S. Army Reserve thought I was getting too old, couldn’t pass the P.T test having to do the sit ups and then pushups within a half hour after that had the 2 mile run, I couldn’t even walk it fast enough to pass, after 2 year active duty and 17+ years in the reserve I was no longer in the Army. Doctor’s had told me it was my heart, later found out they were only half right.

Had my job working at Jiffy Lube have always loved working on cars. Helping people take care of their cars never did push anyone to have services done not my style. Had built my dream house full log small, had the plans for it from 7^th grade, life was grand living the dream.

This part is from

The journey of finding myself and living with Multiple Sclerosis

“When I finally told my partner Jane, my right leg wasn’t working, as it should, she told me I needed to tell the doctor everything. So together we made a list. I was tripping over nothing or miss-stepping. My right leg was tired and heavy. I was seeing two of everything then Jane added, “That’s been true for as long as I’ve known you and that’s 7 years.” I was dropping things and losing my grip. After sitting down following a hard day of work, I found that when I tried to get up, my legs didn’t want to work. I had to lift myself up with my arms. With the list in hand I told my doctor everything knowing it’s harder to diagnose a problem if I wasn’t honest about what I’m feeling.”

You see, I hadn’t put it all together until I wrote the list. My uncle Ervin was the one that told my Mom to make sure she writes everything down! My Mom told Jane didn’t know that at the time. 

My Mother’s brother was a Doctor but to me he always was my Uncle and one of my God parent’s. The lesson I learned from this is I was partly at fault for not telling my Doctor’s everything or writing it all down. 

You may feel differently than I do but for me, without all the information how would anyone know. Doctors have a license to practice medicine, we are important tools, or obstacles they have to work with. Just like us they are human.  

# 50 Reflections Friendships

Friendships

By Mary K. Mennenga

Without a word

A friendship may end

No need to wonder

It just isn’t what it was

There may not be a reason

For we all grow at

Different speeds and directions

Some friends come then go

With years in between seeing each other

The friendship isn’t strained or damaged

We have parted

At Christmas each year each will

Send a card in greeting

Letting each other know how life is going

We will change over the years

May find we have less in common

As time passes

We don’t forget the good times

We had together

Those memories stay with us 

I've been around Dog's most of my life!

     But I've never seen or heard of a dog that’s afraid of squirrels, that is until we got Ben. If I had not seen it I would not have believed it myself! Took Ben outside to do his business, he was walking around to his favorite spot on the south side of the house. Ben came to a dead stop looking but not moving, tucking his tail as I got closer and looking around the corner to see what could have gotten inside our fenced in yard to scary him so much. What I saw was a small SQUIRREL sitting under the bird-feeder holding a half-eaten nut! The squirrel looked as afraid as Ben; I was now right next to Ben thinking now he’ll go for the squirrel. But NO Ben started slowly backing up, as the squirrel was continued to finish his nut, I took one step toward the squirrel and it run under the fence and was gone, I had to call Ben to get him to come so his business trip wasn't wasted. Okay I thought maybe it was a fluke. Took him out yesterday same reaction, too a different squirrel, this time I took a step toward the squirrel and it was gone. Still had to call Ben to do his business, as you may know I feed birds and squirrel so I’m hoping this behavior stops soon if not we’ll need to find Ben a new favorite spot or move the bird-feeder out of the backyard, which I’ll do if Ben can’t get passed his fear. Today we’re going to look into the calming nervous dog stuff. His fear is too strong; don’t want him to have a heart attack over a squirrel!


As a side note the temperature here this morning was 59 degrees a new record high low temperature and we'll set a new record high for sure! Normal high temperature here for today is 43 degrees! Many folks around here are wearing shorts and tee shirts.   
 

# 49 of reflections It's Automatic

It’s automatic

By Mary K. Mennenga

Acts of self-preservation are automatic

Any time the mind can’t handle

What’s happening or going to happen!

It will block that memory it’s still there waiting

Until the tools are in place to handle it

Patience is not automatic nor is it something a person is born with

Its learned behavior earned over time

Patience with one’s self is hardest

That has been my experience so far

All the living and learning that’s being done

Along with the baggage chosen to carry with you

Is what made you the person you are today

Laying the framework to become

The person you want to be

I can't help myself

A time line in reverse

How did this happen 

Watching this guy come 

Out of fear seeing him become

Curious 

  Had a bath it was wet!

I smell Good

Sounds becomes

interesting 

Ben was okay if he next to me 

Still so afraid 

His biggest fear

People

Starting to settle in
Feeling safe

Jumping at every sound

Afraid of everything even me!

Seeing how far Ben has come in such a short time

Is a wonderful thing to see

Seeing eyes go from terror to trust

A hand reaching toward him triggering fright

To having him reaching out to be touched

Looking forward to watching

As Ben opens up to the world around him

Without fear

Learning he's loved and accepted

From this point on he is in

His forever home fulled with love   

Posted pictures of the three dog's from update on Ben

As well as on here

I took this one today of Ben 

Mr. Owen

may not be the same as the blogspot

The big one is Grey girl.

Update on my buddy Ben

It been a bit rush, wasn't going to dog sit until Thursday, but Grey Girl human mom e-mailed on Monday that she wanted me to dog sit Grey Girl on Tuesday, let her know about Ben, by e-mail that she said she didn't read it. Ended up having Grey girl the rest of the week, they got along fine. It set back some of the training Ben needed before Thursday when Mr. Owen would be staying with us while his human Mom went to visit her sister, they came over on Tuesday afternoon so Ben and Owen got to know each other, with us all together Ben even let her pet him a bit, there were no problems.
Wednesday was good Ben and Grey girl got along great both slept most of the day, nice break for me. About 9 O'clock that night the tenant started going through her boxes stacked 5 feet high, filling her side of the basement, having hard wood floors you can hear what's being said shes not a quiet person, I understand she needed to get it cleaned out. Wouldn't have been a problem if she had stopped at 11 O'clock, and didn't have her music up loud and trying to talk to her friend who was helping her at 2:30AM she stopped. Ben was upset and shaking, didn't want to go out
Thursday had Ben, Grey girl and Owen they all got along great, Ben still needed to be very close to me, when Jane got home from work Owen followed her everywhere, as he always does when he is here, he is her bed partner, that's Jane's favorite part.
Friday was a rush as the tenant on the other side of the duplex was packing and starting to move out with all the noise Ben wasn't dealing with it well at all. He got so jumpy and afraid, some of it rubbed off on Owen add in Grey girl, as we were all going out the tenant's friend were coming in, Ben ran back into the house and jump up on the table. I knew he needed to go out to go potty, thought it was safe, it wasn't in comes the tenant and friend again, grabbed Ben to get him outside but we didn't make it out fast enough, did half his business on me and the floor, got it all cleaned. Got all three back in, got Ben calmed down was playing with Owen Ben doesn't know how to play yet Ben was laying just behind me, when Owen ran around me and gave Ben the toy oh my what a sweet little man he is! Ben laid his head on the toy, Owen did this  until all the toys were around Ben, Owen is a sweetheart.
Saturday and Sunday went the same as Friday just no Grey girl, and more people coming in and out, at all hours and it seemed they did so as LOUDLY as humanly possibly! Mr. Owen was great thank goodness he can bark, very good at it I'd like to add it helped Ben a bit. Mr. Owen has a great human Mom thank's Lisse.
Monday was the get rid of crap day, piles of boxes everywhere...ect! That night Owen's human Mommy came to pick him up. Oh was he happy to see her, not sure but it almost sounded like Mr. Owen said "Mommy get me the heck out of here!" Tuesday was major moving day what a cluster muck, sounded like a herd of elephants with Jane home I put my five most calming CD's in and cranked it UP Ben went to sleep more from exhaustion I think, it was raining a bit that night everyone got some much need sleep. Almost done!
Wednesday they got it all packed up and ready rolled out of here at 11pm. we did the walk through it was empty, what a mess good thing she had a cleaning lady coming on Thursday don't know what she paid the cleaning lady but it wasn't enough! the place looked great all shined up like a brand new penny.
Ben is doing great, after hes gotten some rest and me too. Ready for the weekend the new tenant won't be moving in until the end of April! Thank goodness we now have some much needed peace and quiet!

My friend Kit thought I should add Pictures of the three dogs so I have Thanks Kit;-)

Mr. Owen

The big one is Grey Girl

This is Ben

# 48 Reflections Sharing the depth of love

Sharing the depth of love

By Mary K. Mennenga

Is it a form of misguided guilt to gain what is wanted?

If so can anyone be sure if it’s love or guilt?

A question only answered by time and heart

Walking away maybe easier if done now instead of later

To remove the threat of anyone knowing

I’m already hurting

Instead of letting

My actions speak the words for me

I love you is strong enough to stand on its own

When a heart is entwined within the words

The risk is worth everything

For the chance to hear

Those 3 little word repeated back to me