I learned in August I have Cancer.

2016 started out great! Nacho and I were doing a lot of walking, on track to walk over 600+ miles. On August 11th I learned I have "HER2" positive infiltrating ductal carcinoma with insufficient inflammatory components. The Nottingham grade 3 of 3 with a score 8 of 9. It's a fast growing form of cancer. Nacho and I spent time reinforcing his training. Before my scheduled surgery on September 16th for a Bilateral Mastectomy. The recovery was slow, walking with Nacho was the best therapy for me. We started out walking around the block, on the 25th we walked our first mile, I was even happier then Nacho Man was! By the time I started the infusion process, on the 20th of October. Nacho and I had walked 42 miles starting to feel good. 

Started the generic form of Herceptin Trastuzumab that uses a chemo-drug for delivery on October 20th. This will be done every three week's for one year. Normally this is used along with up to 4 other Chemo-drug's because of my m.s. doing that, would likely activate my immune system, causing a worst outcome. Very little research done on doing it this way, it was my only option  Being stage 2 and fast growing it's worth a shot.

Asked how would we know it's working? Doctor the cancer doesn't come back, the flip side is, if it comes back, there nothing else we can do. After Thursday I'll be half way done, have a few side effects drinking a lot of water helps. Doing blood test making sure my numbers are good. After my third treatment the vein's in my arms could not be used, so I had to have a port put in.
Nacho and I did walk 600 Miles in 2016, hope we can match that again this year.

Nacho the Santa dog!

I've found staying positive, is easier. When I look forward instead of looking over my shoulder. I don't want to trip over a small stone in front of me now!

Living within my changing limitations.

Is working out good for me, I'm not missing out and my life isn't dull. Finding I'm happier and healthier by not pushing past the point of what I'm capable of, because the price is too high. Learning I have more time then energy, pushing pass the pain to get a task done sooner only makes my recovery time so much longer ranging from weeks to as long as a month instead hours to a day maybe two. By doing what I'm able to knowing I'll get done what needs doing. Having stopped living on a time table I'll admit was of my own making. Kind of silly with limitations that are  changing to set time table's, when I'm not sure what I'll have to work with the next day, finding a balance isn't always easy, if I don't at least try I'll end up on a the M.S. roller coaster ride, that's hard to get off. So I have fun by being more able to do most of things I enjoy. Within the progression of M.S. and getting older, I'll push a bit too far to fast and pay for it. The difference now is I don't get back on the M.S. roller coaster, by slowing down a bit and learning what my new limitations are and begin working within them. Doing this is really helping me enjoy the little things that turn out to be the big things. The things I can't do are increasing, however what I'm able to do with what I got to work with, is growing by learning new and different ways of doing things, it will take longer I've got the time, to learn how to use the energy I have more efficiently. Makes more room for the fun stuff I love doing. Yes M.S. has slowed me down faster than just getting older has that's true enough, but it's also showed me wonders I would have never seen. Like watching a bud growing into a flower. Seeing a baby bird that failed to fly and watching as other birds bring it food showing it how to hop up into to a bush for safety at night, to seeing it take it's first flight, hearing birds seemly praise it as it flies into the tree to join them. Little things that I would have never had the time to notice, if not for M.S. my focus has changed from what has been taken from me, to all I've gained in spite of what M.S. and aging have taken from me. So far life been a learning experience of all I don't know and trust me that's a heck of a lot! Are all the things I've learned important Nope most just make me smile.

It's not about what I can't do anymore

It's about what I'm able to do with what I have to work with

Before I end yes, there always is a balance of good verses bad and light and dark. For  me I take the lessons learned from both and find my balance. 

     

# 10 of Reflections Why Not!

Why Not!

By Mary K. Mennenga

Take life head on experience it taking the good  with the bad

Stay true to yourself never quit or give up

Take it as it comes then making adjustments to what it brings your way

Live life your way or it's not your life your living

Joy and sadness are pieces of a life that's being lived

Living is about taking risks you'll get hurt that's true!

Don't willingly miss out on the joys of living out of fear of being hurt

No matter the path you choose to take, each ends at the same point

Find your joy it's what makes life worth living

Remember a job is how to make money so you can afford to do what you love and makes you happy and nothing more

Cherish the good the mistakes you've made in the past were not made by who you are today.

So let the past be about lessons learned and let it go already!

Stop using it as a weapon to hold you back from living

Life is way too short for that!

# 9 Of my reflections Life as I see it

Life as I see it

By Mary Mennenga

Life isn't hard but living is a trial

That starts the first time we say "NO" to our parents

It's the first decision we make as a person

Parents can teach us that we have options

But where we go from there becomes a choice

This when we start learning that with choices comes consequences

Every action has an equal and opposite reaction

Now will we be negative or positive

Being negative is easy however it's much harder to over come

Being positive is a way of living looking forward

Negativity pushes everything away

Positivity draws everything toward it yet it repeals negativity

As with everything it depends on your prospective

And that's always relative