Sunday, August 12, 2012

The signs were there.

But my heart wasn't willing to see.

When Jane and I saw Ben on the Golden Valley Animal Humane Society web site, the more we read it sounded like a good fit for us. Because Ben was just 2 years old under weight they said he just needed a loving home. After we met Ben and spent time all together he warmed up to us and we started falling in love. So we started the paperwork of adoption, we both felt he needed us as much as we wanted him.

As we got the intake paperwork it didn't really match up with what we had been told or read on the web site. On the top it said Ben was seized because of cruelty/neglect but it also said he did not live with other animals. We were told  Ben was one of 220 dogs that lived in two trailer near Bemidji, MN. it also said he weighted 21 pounds but he only weighted 18 pounds. At the time this seemed like a minor over sight because of the number of dogs that came in with Ben.

Jane and I took Ben to the Vet to get him checked over and to make sure he was okay. The Vet told us the tarter buildup on his tooth and other signs put him at least 4 but more likely 5 years old. Of course in the week we had Ben, he had learned how to go up and down stairs and was gaining strength he seemed afraid of everything and everyone but Jane and I. Knowing Ben had lived most of his life in such horrible conditions, I questioned my judgement but he was doing so good and we loved so much. Ben got along fine with Owen and Grey Girl and his fear seemed to be changing into curiosity. When I took Ben in to get his Nails cut he bite the guy trying to clip him of course I blamed the guy because, I didn't want to see it for what it was. When Ben started growling and showing his teeth at Jane, because I need her help to get out of bed. We both down played it, we spent a lot of time teaching Ben how much we both needed Jane. Jane took over feeding him and she was the only one giving Ben treats. We both believed Ben had learned, he was interacting with her in positive ways. Until July 12 when I was taken away by Ambulance, at first I didn't see the change in him or maybe I didn't want to. I had been sick since the first of June it was really taking a toll, in that time I had lost around 25 pounds. A few weeks ago Jane, Ben and I were playing together on the floor when without reason or warning Ben bite Jane on the head it was a very good thing her face wasn't within his reach or it could have been much worst. This was now his second bite, there was a change in Ben's behavior even with me, I told Jane if Ben bites again I'm sorry but I'm not sure he can be trusted. On Wednesday night I had to go to the V.A. hospital Jane and Ben dropped me off. After I was done I called Jane to come and get me. When Jane and Ben got there I saw Ben had bitten her again, this time it wasn't a bite and release he chewed on her hand and didn't let go. Jane has a deep puncture wound on her left hand just below her thumb with chew marks on her palm. Jane kept saying it was all her fault, Jane wanted me to give Ben another chance! Telling her some times there are issues, that all the love we have can't fix.

As I was leaving Jane was crying telling me "Please give him one more chance for me." Even after being bitten twice Jane loved Ben so much she wanted him to stay. That's a risk I'm unwilling to take, Jane did nothing wrong if there is anyone to blame it's me. Hindsight is 20/20 if only I had been willing to see each bite for what it was. Jane's hand will heal, as for her heart that will take more time.

As for me the bond Ben and I made in life, will one day be renewed because I know all dog's go to haven.


Kit Minden said...

I am heartbroken with you, Poor, sweet Ben. People damaged in him, and for all the love you both gave him, he could not be fully repaired. Much love to you all.

Mary K. Mennenga said...

Kit, It's been the hardest, five days. Thank you so much