After all is said and done, I'm okay!

It's been a odd at times a hard few months. The good news is I've now lost 40lbs. Wasn't the right way to do it, still I'm glad it's gone less of me to luge around. My heart isn't going into spasm as often nor is it as painful. According to Jane I'm not turning as pale as often but, I look frail! Not a fan of anyone calling me frail even Jane. It's understandable with the weight lost, staying out of the sun because of the my med's. With it getting so hot so early then staying that way until August didn't help either. My stomach still isn't working most of the time, however it's working better than it did which is a positive sign. What I am eating has changed a great deal, moving to a much healthier variety of whole fresh foods, lean meats and smaller portions sizes. Having always been a junk food, sweet and chocolate eater. For the first time in my life I tossed out an almost full box of cookies we have had for at least two months, I've never had a box of cookies last long enough too go bad. Going shopping for the first in a long time last weekend and coming home without any candy, cookies or chocolate I do remember walking passed all of them but none of it looked good, that's a first for me! As Jane and I were putting everything away she said "Oh no we forgot to get you some treat's!" My telling her nothing looked good she responded with "Are you sure your Okay!" I said "I'm fine" Jane asked if I was lying to her! Now I don't always share how crappy I feel with her and she knows it, but when she calls me on it I won't lie to her, I'll tell her what's going on. Jane understands there isn't anything either of us can do about it. One of the hardest lessons I've had to understand, is letting go of the things I can't control is okay.

Having to put Ben down was hard I miss him. Knowing Ben is in a much better place, and so are we. It may be a long time before we think about getting another dog. Mr. Owen is staying with us he loves Jane and follows her everywhere. Lisse his human mom is letting him stay with us. Even before Lisse left, Owen had already started following Jane around all Lisse did was smile and shake her head.

Jane and I are planning on going to the Minnesota State fair on Thursday it's the first day of the fair. We both enjoy going, it's also the only kind of shopping Jane likes, just about everything to eat comes on a stick and seeing all the animals, people watching is easy with almost a hundred thousand going there each day.