WHY and WHAT!

WHY and WHAT!
By Mary K. Mennenga

I can't understand

Why words are used as weapons

Words hurt more when coming

From a friend

It's a hit to the heart

That eats from the inside out

Speaking your mind is one thing
Using words to knock a person down
Is always wrong
In life there are so many hard choices
That must be made to keep us safe
Everyone is different
 A decision had to be made
No matter what anyone thinks
Of the choice that was made
Remember
It wasn't your choice to make
Know me well enough to understand
It wasn't an easy choice to make
As with all the choices I've made in my life
I'm the one that will live
With the choice I made

The State Fair and other news.

The Minnesota State Fair, called by many the great Minnesota get together. Jane and I went on opening day along with over 103,000 other folks. It turned out to be a great day not to hot or cold with a nice breeze, so we both were comfortable. I rented a scooter, with hills and the distance for one end to the other it's the only way I could enjoy it. Every year Jane and I eat our way through the fair, most of the food at the fair is on a stick like Hot dish, Ice cream Sunday both are okay the best is a pork chop on a stick. With the number of people that come people watching is easy and it's Jane favorite pass time, after around 3 hours Jane said "Not one person looks the same!" The state fair is a huge mix of all the people that live in Minnesota, that really is a great part of the fair.

The 4H animals that make it to the state fair have already won at the local fair's across the state seeing how hard these young people work, knowing there will only be one winner the kids are all happy no matter who wins, a big part of the Minnesota nice we are called by some people I think, comes from those kid's.

The other news is a dog found our landlord's while on vacation in Greece, Her name is Elaina she is a Shepard mix. While Elaina was waiting to come here she made a friend and his name is Nacho long story short our landlord asked if we wanted to take care of Nacho until they can find him a forever home. After what Ben did to Jane, she wasn't sure about us getting another dog because she was so afraid of dogs. Knowing that we would dog sitting Mr. Owen he loves Janefor a few days at first Jane was a little jumpy but Mr. Owen is such a lover and follows Jane where ever she goes. By the time Mr. O's Mommy came home. Jane felt a lot better and started talking about Nacho and looking forward to taking care of him. So it's still a wait and see what our landlord's are going to do. When Elaina and Nacho arrive and they go and pick them up. They may have had a change heart or on trip back they may have falling in love, with Nachos as they did with Elaina.

This is the link to see a short video of Elaina and Nachos

http://youtu.be/gmqjGIuxC10

  

After all is said and done, I'm okay!

It's been a odd at times a hard few months. The good news is I've now lost 40lbs. Wasn't the right way to do it, still I'm glad it's gone less of me to luge around. My heart isn't going into spasm as often nor is it as painful. According to Jane I'm not turning as pale as often but, I look frail! Not a fan of anyone calling me frail even Jane. It's understandable with the weight lost, staying out of the sun because of the my med's. With it getting so hot so early then staying that way until August didn't help either. My stomach still isn't working most of the time, however it's working better than it did which is a positive sign. What I am eating has changed a great deal, moving to a much healthier variety of whole fresh foods, lean meats and smaller portions sizes. Having always been a junk food, sweet and chocolate eater. For the first time in my life I tossed out an almost full box of cookies we have had for at least two months, I've never had a box of cookies last long enough too go bad. Going shopping for the first in a long time last weekend and coming home without any candy, cookies or chocolate I do remember walking passed all of them but none of it looked good, that's a first for me! As Jane and I were putting everything away she said "Oh no we forgot to get you some treat's!" My telling her nothing looked good she responded with "Are you sure your Okay!" I said "I'm fine" Jane asked if I was lying to her! Now I don't always share how crappy I feel with her and she knows it, but when she calls me on it I won't lie to her, I'll tell her what's going on. Jane understands there isn't anything either of us can do about it. One of the hardest lessons I've had to understand, is letting go of the things I can't control is okay.

Having to put Ben down was hard I miss him. Knowing Ben is in a much better place, and so are we. It may be a long time before we think about getting another dog. Mr. Owen is staying with us he loves Jane and follows her everywhere. Lisse his human mom is letting him stay with us. Even before Lisse left, Owen had already started following Jane around all Lisse did was smile and shake her head.

Jane and I are planning on going to the Minnesota State fair on Thursday it's the first day of the fair. We both enjoy going, it's also the only kind of shopping Jane likes, just about everything to eat comes on a stick and seeing all the animals, people watching is easy with almost a hundred thousand going there each day.

It's okay to be a Dog

By Mary K. Mennenga
The pain and heartbreak you must have endured
Over the years
If we could go back and fix what went wrong

We would in a heart beat

Knowing and watching how far you had come

To Having it end this way

Has broken our heart's

Our time together was short

We'll never forget how you followed me around

Or the light you brought back into the house

You'll always have hearts that love you

I'm sure you've met some of our dear friends

Where you are

Now when Honey Girl teaches you to play keep away
It isn't my favorite game

No matter what she may say
We'll see you again
Remember you are Loved 

Warning this is about politics

I've deleted this post because I wrote for all the reason's 

Okay I'm off my soap box
For GOOD!
Better off letting the
Politicians do this!

The signs were there.

But my heart wasn't willing to see.

When Jane and I saw Ben on the Golden Valley Animal Humane Society web site, the more we read it sounded like a good fit for us. Because Ben was just 2 years old under weight they said he just needed a loving home. After we met Ben and spent time all together he warmed up to us and we started falling in love. So we started the paperwork of adoption, we both felt he needed us as much as we wanted him.

As we got the intake paperwork it didn't really match up with what we had been told or read on the web site. On the top it said Ben was seized because of cruelty/neglect but it also said he did not live with other animals. We were told  Ben was one of 220 dogs that lived in two trailer near Bemidji, MN. it also said he weighted 21 pounds but he only weighted 18 pounds. At the time this seemed like a minor over sight because of the number of dogs that came in with Ben.

Jane and I took Ben to the Vet to get him checked over and to make sure he was okay. The Vet told us the tarter buildup on his tooth and other signs put him at least 4 but more likely 5 years old. Of course in the week we had Ben, he had learned how to go up and down stairs and was gaining strength he seemed afraid of everything and everyone but Jane and I. Knowing Ben had lived most of his life in such horrible conditions, I questioned my judgement but he was doing so good and we loved so much. Ben got along fine with Owen and Grey Girl and his fear seemed to be changing into curiosity. When I took Ben in to get his Nails cut he bite the guy trying to clip him of course I blamed the guy because, I didn't want to see it for what it was. When Ben started growling and showing his teeth at Jane, because I need her help to get out of bed. We both down played it, we spent a lot of time teaching Ben how much we both needed Jane. Jane took over feeding him and she was the only one giving Ben treats. We both believed Ben had learned, he was interacting with her in positive ways. Until July 12 when I was taken away by Ambulance, at first I didn't see the change in him or maybe I didn't want to. I had been sick since the first of June it was really taking a toll, in that time I had lost around 25 pounds. A few weeks ago Jane, Ben and I were playing together on the floor when without reason or warning Ben bite Jane on the head it was a very good thing her face wasn't within his reach or it could have been much worst. This was now his second bite, there was a change in Ben's behavior even with me, I told Jane if Ben bites again I'm sorry but I'm not sure he can be trusted. On Wednesday night I had to go to the V.A. hospital Jane and Ben dropped me off. After I was done I called Jane to come and get me. When Jane and Ben got there I saw Ben had bitten her again, this time it wasn't a bite and release he chewed on her hand and didn't let go. Jane has a deep puncture wound on her left hand just below her thumb with chew marks on her palm. Jane kept saying it was all her fault, Jane wanted me to give Ben another chance! Telling her some times there are issues, that all the love we have can't fix.

As I was leaving Jane was crying telling me "Please give him one more chance for me." Even after being bitten twice Jane loved Ben so much she wanted him to stay. That's a risk I'm unwilling to take, Jane did nothing wrong if there is anyone to blame it's me. Hindsight is 20/20 if only I had been willing to see each bite for what it was. Jane's hand will heal, as for her heart that will take more time.

As for me the bond Ben and I made in life, will one day be renewed because I know all dog's go to haven.

Ben

Has bitten Jane for the second time and this one sent her to the doctor, it was a bad bite and Jane did nothing to cause this she keeps saying it was all her fault, but I know she is wrong. It's a very sad day for all of us. There really is no choice, Ben will have to be put down. It's not what best for us it's about what's best for Ben. Many friends are trying to make me feel guilty about this I don't. Having a dog that bites unprovoked isn't a pet and it's only a matter of time before he will bite again.

To be honest I guess I'm writing this because I feel horrible about failing both Ben and Jane. If it was just a bite and release out of shock but, it's wasn't he grabbed on and chewed, not wanting to let go. Just needed to write this out because of how bad I feel for both of them. Jane's hand is torn up bad, of course it will heal but that really isn't the point. Neither one of them feels safe and that's not a good place for anyone.

Got to say feel's good

To say I feel good! Will say I had my doubts more than a few times, no quit in this old gal! Thank's for all your prayers and positive thoughts, it meant so much to me.

Last weekend was the best I've felt in a long time! Got a much needed break from the heat with highs in upper 70's and lows in the 50's. Being able to be outside and open the windows instead of turning on the A/C. A touch of freedom from trying to keep the cool in and the hot out. Not to worry the heat is coming back today. Being outside hearing and watching the birds and squirrels playing well it looked that way to me. Visiting with the neighbors instead saying a quick Hi and Bye and have a good day or night was nice. Later as it cooled many had small fires. After it got quiet, I went back out with Ben I do enjoy when I can listen to the night sounds, looking up to see the stars. Living in the city and maybe 10 miles from the airport, those times are rare so I grab them every chance I can. It's time like these I think of home in Amery, Wisconsin when every night was like this. 

Now that I'm eating real food again, having now lost 30+ pounds I've reclaimed clothes some I haven't worn in over two years. I don't dislike going clothes shopping it's kind of fun until I see the price tag that is! Even if it's on sale, my goodness two nice outfits cost as much as I spend on food in a month! Yep I'm cheap I'll continue taking good care of the clothes I have, if an occasion comes up and depending on who will be there I'll decide if something new maybe needed.

Starting to feel balanced again I'll continue to work on that.