Sunday, October 31, 2010


     I've been told I need to write more about myself, to help people  understand why I write the way I do. I can talk about any thing or nothing to anybody, until it comes to my own feeling.  I don't tend to write about anything, until I've dealt with my emotions about it first. Mostly it's out of fear of being judged before I've finished dealing with and worked though my feelings. Weird maybe how I see it is, once it's become history, it's can't be changed there for it can't hurt me. What peoplethink about how I've handled it, isn't within my control.

Being judged by one moment and my immediate reaction to what is happening and what may or may not be how I really end up feeling. This of course is my way of making sure no one gets too close. By controlling my reaction and not sharing my basic feelings or emotions.  I prefer to talk about my history it's safer.  I don't like giving anyone a weapon that could be used against me!
So I tend to share what I think instead of that I feel.

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