The original cast of character's.

Have been a big part of my life, mostly from the stories my Mom has shared about her family when she was growing up, I Never knew my grandmother or my grandfather, both died before I was born. Yet through all the stories, I heard from her sisters, brother and the in-laws who knew them it is easy to see how each of Mayme’s children became independent and different from each other. However, the love they shared for each other and Mayme was a bond of respect and love. From her own children’s stories of her Mayme was a character. Buying “2932” on her own the first time her husband saw it was the day they moved in. The job she had chosen after her husband passed away, becoming an arch welder her reasoning was sound, it paid better than most jobs.
Last week my Uncle Bill and Auntie Nan passed away. It brought back memories, of all the stories she and her family had told, is the reason why I call them a cast of characters. The stories they told made them laugh, do not remember any that were hurtful or mean spirited. Memories when Mom talked about her brother and sisters as a family, she said, we are all Mayme’s own! Having so many great memories of my Aunties, Uncles and all of my cousins, growing up along with all of Mayme’s own with all coming and going through “2932” from Mayme on down, that house held more than history and memories made there. The love shared to and with all who passed through the door was never forced or faked, all were welcome to visit or stay always had room for more. Saturday’s morning’s I remember waking up hearing Mom talking to one of her sister’s on the phone, not long after our cores were done. One or more of our Auntie showed up with our cousins. The oldest was Auntie Jo and Uncle Bill they had 5, Uncle Ervin and Auntie Nan had 3 those cousin’s lived with us at that time, thought Molly was my big sister and David, Peter my brothers no one told me that, learned they were not when Molly moved out, didn't change how I felt about them. Auntie Carol and Uncle Ole had five all boy’s, Auntie Alice had two. What I remember is when we were all together we could play kickball or baseball in the back yard. As everyone got older, we always were together on the holidays.
The memories of Uncle Bill as a kid, he came over shortly after dark, to get night crawlers for their yard; we had a ton of them. Allowed to help him was great fun he told me; I was one of the best night crawler hunters around. For me getting to be outside after dark, with a flashlight Mom being okay with it was fun. With Uncle Bill it was always about fun he always had a very small pocketknife, he would pull it out and say let me have a piece of that ear or something like that I would run and hide under the piano he would put the pocketknife away pick me up and give me a hug and say go play. Saw Uncle Bill at Uncle Ole’s wake, told Jane this is my uncle with the pocketknife as said it he pulled it out and yes, I jumped a little.
My Auntie Nan getting to know her better after my Mom fell out of bed breaking her arm. Mom had a hard time talking on the phone it was the arm she held the phone with, I starting calling Auntie Nan with updates. After Mom went back home between the three of us we worked out a time for Auntie Nan to call Mom once a week so they could visit. Mom’s vision was going she could see dirt on the carpet but not the buttons on the phone or the T.V. remote. The last time Mom got sick then moved into hospice care. Auntie Nan and I talked a lot, her sharing her side of Mayme and Mom’s history with me was fun for both of us. Auntie Nan remarked how having talked to all three of us Mayme, Mom and me how much we all sounded alike, yet saying the same things in different ways.

My Birthday and seeing Gettysburg

Turning 50 wasn't hard it's only a measurement of time, being a mile stone Birthday and the first one my Mom and I wouldn't be chatting for hours on the phone about everything, mostly about Birthday's hers and her  Mom's, and the ones from when we were kids with all the cousin's most of us kids were born in either November and or around May, so we had a big party each summer, because I was so young don't remember much, seeing the pictures with all of us kids in the back yard of "2932" sharing  her memories of the many party's in the backyard, and telling me her reason why at forty five she colored her hair gray. What she told everyone was a woman should have their hair colored at least once! Her other reason for wanting it done was  because her Mom passed away before she had one gray hair and she thought her Mom would have looked good with gray hair. How we laughed at how gray her hair had getting over the years, with only a very few dark ones left and so much gray hair. Back when I took her to get her hair she told the hairdresser "I told them to only cut the grays one. She had always called my brothers and I on our birthday's to sing happy birthday to us. For the last few years of her life I would let the answering machine take that call and wait to pickup until after she was done singing so I could listen to it over again. Knowing soon a birthday was coming when I wouldn't receive a call from her. This being the first mile stone birthday I didn't want to be home waiting for a call, I knew wouldn't come. 


We started planning this visit to Jane's sister Char shorty after we got back from Florida last year  got the plane tickets in January. Long before we went to Las Vegas thankfully not everything stays in Vegas so what we came home with became the spending money for this trip. Most of it was spent at the gift shop at Gettysburg, the money spent there goes to help with the up keep of Gettysburg so we got some cool stuff and helped keep Gettysburg the way it is. 

Gettysburg 

Having only seen it in painting's in both the north and south some had more blue or gray depending on what side of the line it was on. Seeing it in person was amazing the battle field is much bigger then any painting showed. Having serviced in the Army knowing and learning about this battle, it was nice seeing it as a peaceful resting place for so many from both sides.    

Devils den 

The battle field is so big! Learned during the battle, people would go out and have a picnic lunch and watch the battle. Some of the monuments in this photo are up to ten miles away. Knowing this place through it's history is something. After seeing it and the pain it caused to both sides and as a nation. That as a people we are still having trouble with the equality issue, maybe it's the wording of it or that the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that a Corporation has the same rights as a person. What is it that makes it's okay to withhold rights to any person or group of people. 

Loved the view from here, 

I could just see the Mountain's

in all but one of the photo's

from Gettysburg 

The trip has help reinforced what I believe.

There are somethings worth dying for,

but few are worth killing for.

It's a trip I'll never forget.

Garden grow! Had a lamb! The future?

Being named Mary I've heard that one all of my life. This has been my answer and it true this year too, with one small change with the lack of snow. The frost killed it the rain froze it and I haven't planted it yet. As for Mary had a little lamb? Answer; And the Doctor was surprised!
The weather has been warm. Living and planting here in Minnesota most of my life and forced to replant due to frost so many times over the years. No matter that this year has been really warm but, it's still Minnesota and the temperature can still dip down into the low 30's. So far it's happened 3 times this spring. So I'll wait to plant until the time is right, for one night in the 30's will set my plants back a week or more. 


Getting ready to visit Jane's sister Char on Saturday we'll be in Pennsylvania for five days and will be able to watch the Kentucky Derby I love seeing the horses. Three days later is my 50 Birthday Jane and I are taking Char and her son out to dinner just the four of us, it will be fun both are very nice and easy to be around. All I have to do is not stress myself out before we leave, I'm getting better at this. Even so I'm planning on staying closer to home after this trip. There really is no place like home. When we get home I'll put the garden in and watch it grow.


Been enjoying my memories of life so far, all the love shared with my family and friends. All the fun and laughter that out numbered all tears. The pranks pulled and joke told that still make me smile. The lessons learned, questions answered and then questioned. Understanding that it's up to me to shape the year's to come, life is a journey with twists and turns that for sure. Maybe I should start acting my age Na! It's just a number to mark the passage of time and nothing more. I'm truly enjoying the middle of life, more than willing toss the crappy parts out. You might be thinking is there anything, that I would change if I could? Nope not one thing  nor can I regret any of the choices I've made because at the time I made them, it was the best choice I could make of the options open to me at that time. When the time comes for my last goodbye no matter what ended my life, the cause of death will be from living.  This is from a post Learning... With a small prayer March 28,2011 It's how I end my prayer's each day  "When this day comes to it's ends please lord grant me rest, thank you lord for giving me this day it was a gift and I hope you'll grant me one more, if not I'll leave with no regrets, either way I'll see you when I wake. Amen"

On April 13 it's 2 years since Mom's goodbye

The reason for this post is having a new tenant moving in and for the first time it's a man. Meaning the flowered wallpaper in the bed room had to go, the peach painted walls that looked more pinker and the flowered shower curtain. For a single man not a good vibe. While I was doing the updating by removing the wallpaper, patching the nail holes, replacing light fixture, and bathroom vanity. Painting using bold solid and darker colors, basically making it into a man cave! Kept thinking about my Mom and how much fun we had doing many of the same things at "2932" it's what everyone called our house. The memories of how it never seemed like a chore, just spending time together fixing things just the two of us. The many trips to the hardware store, with parts in hand because we didn't know the real name of it. All we knew was it's broken. 2932 was a very old house, Her Mother (Mayme) had purchased the home in 1944, the day they moved in, was the first time her Father (Oscar) had seen it. Each time Mom and I were fixing this or that, hanging a picture or stuff like that, her memories of her life within those walls, were very entertaining. Knowing it was Friday the 13 which doesn't bother me but this time it was. Then realizing it was April 13, I understood why I was having all the memories and why it was hitting me so hard. 

Since my Mom has joined the rest of her family in haven. It may seem odd that I don't really miss her, how could I miss someone how is a part of who I am.

Before Mom (Auntie Adele and Friend) moved from "2932" Everyone in or close to the family knew one phone call to Auntie Adele (Mom) was the best way to find out how everyone was all my cousins would call or Mom would call them to talk about how things were going, and she would pass on all the good stuff. Remaining Mom, Auntie Adele and friend, by not sharing what wasn't hers to share, in one phone call all could get the family news of everyone who had talked to her. To be honest it's nice that now when we do get together, my family doesn't already know everything I've been doing.

Mom was the last one in her family to go; she wanted to make sure her brother and three sisters kid's we would be okay. Now it's the same as it was with her family. The sons and or daughters, of my Mom's brothers and sisters get together with their brothers and or sisters. For the most part we all stay in touch, Facebook is a great way to learn what and how everyone is doing. Every two years we all get together for a reunion which is a lot of fun.

Learning recently the relationship Mom and I shared was rare. She was the one who cut the apron strings, in a way of knocking herself off the Mommy pedestal I had put her on. When I stopped acting like a child, we were able to become friends She was my Mom and my best friend, She kept my secret's, taught me so many things here are a few of them: 1. The impossible just takes longer that's all! 2. Life has a beginning, a middle and one day it will end, that's why it works! 3. The only person  in control of life is you if not, then it's not your life your living! 4. To remember all the smiles, laughter and fun with joy. In sadness and loss remember the love that was and is shared. From the bad learn the lessons it has to teach you and let go! 5. Don't live your life in regret of the choices you've made in the past, for your not the same person you were back then. Just do the best you can with what you've got to work, as long as it's your best, it will always be more than enough.

No I don't miss her, I remember her Jokes, how much fun we had the pranks she pulled on everyone. How surprised she was when all the neighborhood kids sang her Happy Birthday when she came home from work one year, yes I had told them it was her birthday, but they asked me if they could sing her happy birthday,  when I opened the back door twenty+ kids started singing, it was priceless. Driving my Mom and Auntie Jo up to see their cousin Boot's and his sister Nancy a four hour drive. We were over half way there in the middle of nowhere the car started acting up turned the radio down trying to hear what was wrong my Mom started giggling, from the back seat as she leaning forward and rocked back making the car move! I yelled MOM what are you doing? Her answer was "Well I thought you may be getting bored!" The number of hours we spent talking on phone about everything and nothing at the same time. How she loved her family and the way she could always find something good to say about everyone. I'm grateful to her for showing that love can and should be given unconditionally to all the people you love, because it's a gift not given for gain. It's the heart knowing love can't be won, earned or forced it just is!

     

Time taking it's toll on everyone!

NO SHIT!!

Having M.S. has not helped at all, from bowel to vision it’s been a trial and error. That’s still ongoing not likely to stop any time soon. It’s not all bad, it will surprise me with a short rest bit that never seems to last long enough, however I’ll take what I can get.

          Now for the reason for this post Jane and I are going on a vacation very soon. We had painted the living room a few weeks ago, Jane has been telling me, we need to get the dining room done soon or they won’t match! Unlike me Jane is a worrier and has been long before we met. The older the habit is the harder it is to change and I have tried and failed. Knowing this and Jane too well after 17 years she would be thinking (worrying) about it when we are supposed to be having fun.

Well I got us started painting on Thursday and we finished up late last night, after the super bowl was over. The team with the least amount of mistakes won, enjoyed it very much. We did a good job on the painting and I’ll have the time needed to recover, before we go on vacation.

          We are both feeling the effects of doing this today. The satisfaction of doing it and seeing how much better it looks, is helping. However I keep finding myself thinking back, when it took only two days and further back it would have taken a day, remembering even further back when my Mom and I had painted the living and dining room, hallway and up the stairs in two days. Realizing it’s not just M.S. that’s slowed me down, living has played a major part in that as well. The memories from then to now are happy ones of team work and pride in a job well done. Then as now it was fun, going from start to finish, the conversations and range of topics hasn’t changed much covering everything, including all the memories made of doing this over the years. Asking myself the same question each time, was it worth the price I’m paying now for doing this? Yes it sure is, for had I not done this, those memories may have stayed locked away until who know when. They were all worth any price to remember them again and now I’m able to add another one.

          What did Jane talk about this morning besides how sore she was! She said; "When we get back, from vacation maybe we should paint the bathroom?" I think I’ll let her answer that one after she comes home from work tonight. LOL