Sunday, October 31, 2010


     I've been told I need to write more about myself, to help people  understand why I write the way I do. I can talk about any thing or nothing to anybody, until it comes to my own feeling.  I don't tend to write about anything, until I've dealt with my emotions about it first. Mostly it's out of fear of being judged before I've finished dealing with and worked though my feelings. Weird maybe how I see it is, once it's become history, it's can't be changed there for it can't hurt me. What peoplethink about how I've handled it, isn't within my control.

Being judged by one moment and my immediate reaction to what is happening and what may or may not be how I really end up feeling. This of course is my way of making sure no one gets too close. By controlling my reaction and not sharing my basic feelings or emotions.  I prefer to talk about my history it's safer.  I don't like giving anyone a weapon that could be used against me!
So I tend to share what I think instead of that I feel.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010


     Was the day my Mother was born, she passed away in April this year. Losing the one person who loved me before I was born, isn't anything I need to get over or let go of. Because no matter where I go or what I do she'll always be apart of who I am. People do tend to say nice things about people who have died. Being her daughter I know all the wonderful things people have said about her were actually true. You see knowing her and seeing her letting down her guard,  honestly she really didn't have one. By not having one at times she got her feeling hurt of course, the odd thing was it never changed how she felt about them, she didn't hold grudges she would just say " They are doing the best they can with the hand they've been dealt and that all anyone can ask and that's good enough for me!"
     My Mom was always able to see the good in everyone, her faith was tested but never shaken. Her love for us will always be within us. 

Saturday, October 23, 2010

I'm tired of hearing, no need for health care reform!

     Could we please take just a minute to stop and think in general terms. Do you feel the company you work for cares if you enjoy or care about the work you do? Is the company you work for more interested in making as much money as it can, instead of paying you a descent wage for the work you are doing? Are you afraid if you got sick the company may think of replacing or eliminating your job? Do you think your state government cares if public schools are funded? Last one, what's the effect of state government cutting your city budget's going to have on homeowners and you?
     Calling the biggest health care reform act in U.S. history, a government take over of health care. Wasn't as big as when for-profit health care insurance companies forced or pushed out of business non-profit health insurance companies. Oh maybe you didn't know about that one, remember blue cross & blue shield the last of the non-profit health insurance companies to go.  The way I see health care insurance companies are set up to make sure to keep costs low by finding ways of not paying claims, so the company making as much money as possible to keep shareholders happy and to keep stock value high. 
     Now tell me how can a company who's supposedly there to assist people with maintaining a healthy balance. But instead are making record profits, as the people they used to unsure are sick and dieing! And major hospitals are going broke, The health insurance companies will inform the hospital or provider it's approved a service as a covered service but as the bills and costs go up the insurance provider later finds and decides that the person may have lied or failed to fill out the application for health insurance completely even if the error didn't relate to what they were be treated for nor did the insurance company see it until after the first claim was filed. The insurance company keeps all the money the hospital tries to get payment from the person who now has had to file for bankruptcy so their family doesn't get stuck paying a bill, that the insurance company had said at first it would. Remember that with bankruptcy the debt isn't paid but forgiven so the hospital gets nothing but a piece of paper. So now the hospital has to go back and raise the price of all it's services to make up for what the insurance didn't pay after what at first said it would. Now the health insurance company has a reason the raise the cost of health insurance premiums, even though it was the cause of why the hospital needed to raise the price of all its services.
     The only choice for those who had paid for health insurance for most of their life. Is to be forced to try to get welfare or to get assistance from somewhere if their lucky. With all the years of paying your health insurance premiums what did you get? Not what you paid for that's for sure. Where did all that money go? Now don't you worry because it's safe and sound sitting in the profit margins of the health care insurance industry, or in the campaign funds of politicians that want to their words not mine (kill) the health care reform bill. Now that it's an act they want to repeal it. To me it seems that if your sick as I am, why don't you just hurry up and die already, now that may not be what they are really saying but that's what I'm hearing. 

Sunday, October 17, 2010


Today was warm for this time of year, normally most of the leaves are off the trees by now and a cool breezy greets as you open the door. One year ago we were shoveling two inches of snow. This year the seasons have been just a bit off. Of course had the spring floods, it got hot early then 3 weeks later it was cold. It was almost like nature decided not to change the season's but mix it all up 3 weeks cold then 4 weeks hot back and forth it went, the garden tryed very hard to grow but too hot to soon and no rain back into the cold and to much rain. Adding insult to injury just as the crops were to come in fall flooding that isn't something we deal with very often flooding fields, roads and towns, it's a mess to be sure.

Maybe winter will calm down a bit (who am I kidding) last winter we had 2 inch's of rain around Christmas and froze hard going from 40 down to 28 the next day, the ice didn't go away until March. So I'll take the good with the bad realizing I'm not in control of anything but my choices and at times even that can be called into question. I still see the glass half full even then at times it's almost empty.

Monday, October 11, 2010


     How smart are we really? That we allow history to repeat it's over and over again as greed over takes sound judgment. A free market only works for everyone if checks and balances are in place to pervent greed from becoming the drive force behind the gains it makes. Just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should. When people only Look at way's to take all they can get, instead of doing the right thing
 for everyone. Doing the right thing is always harder, when making money is the only driving force of why your in business.
     It doesn't matter if you're left or right wing or somewhere in between. Listen closely to what some will try to call the fact's. Whenever you hear statements like these: "a source close to" or "it's been reported","I was told this by someone I trust off the record"and lastly "I've got the proof right here". It seem to me that no matter the source of the information. If the person isn't willing to give a way to verify and confirm the information they are calling the truth. That may or may not be supported by the fact's of public records that can seen and or researched, or is it just the person intreption of the information they heard or been given to support their argument. We tend to trust what supports your view sometimes blindly, we must be willing to look at all sides of issues and take the time to understand it, could we be letting our fear's over ride our ability to reason. Allowing Fear a very strong emotion, to take control over you fear of something not fully understood has been used in histroy over and over again to control the many to hurt the few.
     One more question if a government can't buy stock in a company to help save thousands of jobs in it's our country how is this a bad thing?
     About trusting the stockmarket history has shown us that it has, can, and will be manipulated again and again. Because it's controled by the amount of faith people have in something that decides the value of it, now if you still believe your money is safe in the hands of wallstreet you can go ahead and keep it there if you want too. Each time the stockmarket has crashed the recovery is slower then the last one because people become saver's and spend only that they have to spare, no one like's to get caught with their pant's down!
    "A lie gets half way around before the truth has a chance to get its pants on" Winston Churchill (1869-1948)